S'mores
by I-Like-WAFFLES
Summary: It wasn't actually Izumi who taught the two Elric brothers, it was actually... well just read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Another crack idea of mine. I won't give away the inspiration just yet, so just wait for the next chapter. I do not own FMA or Bleach. ENJOY~!**

**3 Waffle**

S'mores

"What do you want Colonel Bastard?"

"Well Fullmetal, there's some weird white haired guy in my office who claims he knows you and your brother. Think you can get your midget self over here before I kick him out?"

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"

"And by the- holy shit he just coughed up some blood!"

"I'll be right there, don't burn him to a crisp," Edward Elric hung up the phone, sighing.

One maniacal bus ride and Ed falling flat on his automail later!

"Ah, Ed-kun! You've...grown?" The white haired man smiled, though he did raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

Ed grinned, tempted to nearly hug the man for the compliment. "Thanks!" He beamed, grinning over at Al and the Colonel. "See! HA! I did grow taller!" He bragged.

Mustang held back laughter, and Al quietly agreed, too surprised to see their Captain once more.

"Ah, Al, is that you?!" The man exclaimed, jumping slightly, causing his ponytailed hair to bounce lightly to one side of his shoulders. "You've REALLY grown!" He walked over to what SHOULD have been the little boy he had come to know and love. He raised his hand up to do a small height comparison, slowly going from the top of his head over to Al's.

"Err-- Umm-- I-I wouldn't do that if I were you!" The walking talking suit of armor shouted hurriedly.

"Eh, why not?" The man questioned, finally reaching the boy's head, with more impact than he had expected.

And with that, Al's 'head' came toppling off, and the white haired man stared, a bit of blood showing at the corners of his mouth as he saw nothing inside.

"I'm feeling a bit faint..."

He mumbled, before collapsing on to the floor.

"Okay, would someone mind explaining to me WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? All I know is that some weird man in weird clothes with unnaturally colored hair just fainted on my floor, who supposedly knows the Full Metal Brat! So cough it up, you two!" Roy exclaimed, with a loud voice that was more than enough to send any villain running away with their pants a bit more than wet.

After a moment or so of silence, Ed finally regained composure. "I'll explain later, okay?!" He shouted, pointing to Ukitake on the floor. "Just help me get that man to the infirmary!" He continued, as Al was nearly running in circles literally trying to get his head back on, yelping and frantically motioning toward their beloved Captain all at once.

Roy's eyebrows furrowed even further, if that was even possible, and he grunted. "Fine, Full Metal. But this is coming out of your salary!"

Ed hurriedly nodded, "Just help us, alright?!"

One groggy ride to the hospital and an hour later!

"Ugh....where am I again? This isn't Soul Society!" Ukitake shouted frantically, looking around and clutching the sheets like the little girl he was.

"Don't worry Captain! You're safe here," Al's young, child-like voice exclaimed, resonating a bit inside of his armor.

"Oh, right, you're armor....is....empty." He gulped, trying to avoid fainting again.

"Why are you here, anyways, Captain?" The boy frowned, trying to figure it out himself.

"More importantly, why is your brother an empty suit of armor?!" Ukitake broke out.

"Eheh, that isn't all..." Ed pulled up his jacket, then his pant leg, to reveal two automail body parts.

The man gaped, this time REALLY trying not to pass out again. He bit his lip, and took a deep breath.

"Before I tell you why I'm here, I think you both have more than a bit of explaining to do..." Nervous laughter from the two brothers followed.

"Well, you see...."

"The end!" Ed concluded one loooong story and many interruptions later.

This time, Ukitake really did pass out.

"C-Captain! Not again....."

About thirty more minutes later, the white haired Captain awoke for the second time that day.

"Okay, Captain, we explained our story to you, now you tell us!" Al pouted, or he would have, had he not been made of metal.

Ukitake looked away. "Okay, fine, fine, but first..." His smile brightened as he looked at them. "I just have to show you the snacks I got from the human world!"

"Figures...." They mumbled sweat dropping as the man rummaged through his sleeves, looking for what he had gotten.

"Ah, here it is!" He grinned triumphantly, pulling out a brown bar that had the words HERSHEY engraved on the front.

"Umm, sir, what is that....?" Al questioned, a bit disappointed, yet relieved at the same time that he wouldn't have to try any.

"It's chocolate!"

"Choco...what?"

"Chocolate!" He continued to explain. "It's a nice, sweet substance on Earth that tastes really good!" he nodded as he said this, shoving a bar in to the Full Metal's hands.

"I...err....Captain--"

"Oh! And it also goes great with these," He pulled out some marshmallows and ghramcrackers, pushing them in to armor boy's hands.

"C-Captain..." Al said, trying to get his attention just as his brother had.

"Of course we'll need to stack them up and heat them, do you have a stove that we can use? I--"

"CAPTAIN!" Ed bellowed, tired of being cut off.

"Yes, Ed-kun? No need to scream, I'm right here." He smiled brightly, patting the boy on the back.

"You never told us why you were here....."

Ukitake froze where he was, nearly crumbling to the ground, if he could.

"I could heat up this so called chocolate and stu--"

"Never mind that now!" Ed snapped, glaring daggers at the Flame Alchemist, who smirked in return.

"Explain!" He turned to Ukitake.

The white haired man let out a sigh.

"Well, you see....."

A dinging sound came from the distance.

"Ah! Look! The cookies are done!" With that, he perkily got out of bed and skipped over.

"C-CAPTAIIIIN!"

**Hmm… kind of makes you wonder when Ukitake had the time to make cookies… It also makes you wonder where he gets all those sweets… but that isn't explained either~! **

**Please review, no flames please!**

**3 Waffle**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, here's the 2****nd**** chapter, I hope you readers enjoy it. **

**Love, Waffle**

"The end," Ukitake smiled, as the Elric brothers stared at him.

"Umm, Taichou...." Al started.

"You just said 'The End'. That was it," Ed finished, frowning.

"O-Oh, I did?" Ukitake let out a small, nervous laugh. "I guess you got me. Should I tell the story for real this time, then?"

"Yes, please~!" Al exclaimed, eager to hear.

"Yup!" Ed said.

"Well then, you see...."

A loud bang was heard in the distance.

"W-What was that?! And where did that Colonel bastard go?!"

"N-Nii-San! I'm scared!"

"Oh, dear me....that must be Shunsui."

"K-Kyoraku-Taichou?!" The brothers blurted out.

"Ah, did someone call my name?" The slur of a more than slightly drunken voice called.

"Get off my woman!"

"I'm not your woman, Sir...."

"Eh? What happened to Kyoraku-Taichou? He sounds different than usual..." Al trailed off.

"And why is he here, too?"

Ukitake frowned. "Ever since the 'incident', he's started drinking,"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "He was always drinking! And what incident are you talking about, anyhow?"

"Well, you see--" Ukitake started, but was cut off.

"We were be--" Hiccup! "Trayed." Hiccup!

"What is he talking about, Ukitake-Taichou?" Al asked.

"Well, Urahara-san became a Captain..."

"That's great!" Ed blurted out. Urahara had been his favorite shinigami; or, at least, one of his favorites.

"And then proceeded to betray Soul Society; or so we think." Ukitake winced; it looked as if he had just crushed Ed's every dream, plus ten.

"...." Al, too, fell silent.

"Wow, you could drive a truck filled with purple penguins through here and it still would've been silent." Roy commented, smirking. He had no idea what was going on, but he had won Riza back!

"Sir, you didn't win me back." Riza said curtly.

Roy stared. 'D-Did she just read my mind?!'

Ed tried his hardest not to cry; he was a grown boy now, he couldn't cry! Glancing over at his brother, he saw that Al, too, was trying not to burst out sobbing.

"Did anyone else go with him?" Ed asked in a quiet voice.

"There was...let me--" Hiccup. "See. Shinji," Hiccup! "Hiyori," Hiccup! "Love and Rose," Hiccup! "Yoruichi," Hiccup! "My Lisa," Sniff. "Mashiro and Kensei," Hiccup! "And Hachi and Tessai," Hiccup. The drunken Shunsui Kyoraku concluded.

"Though most of them were simply experiments, and not betrayed," Ukitake hurriedly added, hoping it would make them feel better.

It didn't.

Ed was nearly seething at the mouth trying to stop himself from crying.

"What about Nanao?" You could tell at this point, he was crying, or would have been had he not been metal.

"She's fine, though she doesn't about Yadomaru-Fuku-Taichou yet." Ukitake replied, his expression a mixture of sadness and guilt.

Now, being the drunk sap he was, Kyoraku was already crying with the two brothers, as well.

"....Am I supposed to know who these people are?" Roy asked, getting no answer, aside from the slap to the face that Riza offered.

"R-Riza! What was that for?!"

"You could learn to be a bit more respectful, Sir."

"B-But...."

"Anyhow, we came to take you guys back to Soul Society, and-"

"Is Soi Fong alright?" Ed had to bite his lip as he said it.

"She's depressed, but other than that, she wasn't touched."

At this Ed seemed to calm down a little bit.

"Your girlfriend, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, smirking.

"S-She's not my girlfriend!" Ed blushed redder than a red frying pan, before feeling something HARD collided with his head.

"What do you mean, 'not my girlfriend?!'" A female voice huffed, belonging to none other than...

"S-.....Soi Fong?" Red turned redder than ever before.

"And I brought someone along with me too. She couldn't wait to see Al, and followed us here..."

Al had a moment of hope, but smiled slightly and lost such hope when he heard the voice slowly getting louder as it approached.

"Alll-niii-saaaaaaaaaaaan~!" A small girl with glasses and short, dark brown hair came flying through the door, latching on to Al's leg.

"We're here to take you back to Soul Society, as Ukitake-Taichou said. You're going to be a Vice-Captain, and--"

"H-Huh? Really?!"

"Al too, he'll be filling in for..." She trailed off, not wanting Nanao to hear. "Well, you know who." Ed and Al nodded, understanding that she had meant Yadomaru-Fuku-Taichou.

"But what about me?" Ed questioned, almost forgetting how he was crying jut a few minutes ago, now excited at the prospect of being a lieutenant.

"You'll be vice-captain of the second," Soi Fong grinned, and Ed gave her a confused look.

"But, whose Captain, then...?" His eyes widened slightly as realization struck him, nice and hard. "You...?"

Well, that would probably explain the captain's haori she had been wearing.

"Now, come on! We've already dawdled enough!" Ukitake called, standing in front of a swirly portal of doom.

"Fullmetal, you're leaving me?!" Roy blurted out, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, Colonel; I was only here for a mission!" Ed grinned.

"But...What....HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!"

"I'm sorry; you'll have to wait 'till your dead to know!"

And with that, they left.

**Well, that was fun. I hope you liked it. And if you did than review~!**

**I will update soon, don't worry, this isn't the end~ By the way, please notice how Kyoraku was hiccupping in-between words. **

**Love, Waffle**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 here, enjoy~! I tried to explain a few things in this chapter. **

Ed, Kyoraku, Al, Soi Fong, and Nanao stepped through the portal, Ed and Soi Fong hand in hand, Nanao clinging to Al's back, while the two Captains walked on either side of them.

"Hey, Al! Your not in armor anymore~!" Nanao cheered.

"Eh?! You're right! I guess it's because that was my gigai...and we're in Soul Society now..." His eyes opened wide. That was right! Their mission to the world in between the Seireitei and the human world was over! The young shinigami smiled as he remembered the time he had spent here.

_Flashback time…_

"Yadomaru-fuku-taichou, read to us!" One Ise Nanao had cheered, grinning widely.

"Humph! I could be kicking Shinji's ass right now! I don't need to attend no dumb story time..." Hiyori trailed off.

"Hey now, Hiyori-chan," Al smiled at the girl, who's face turned a light and rather annoyed shade of pink, dotted among her freckles.

"So, what kind of story are ya reading, anyways?" She questioned, rather loudly.

"A book from the human world~!" Nanao cheered, hugging on to her vice-captains arm tightly.

"It's called 'Alice in Wonderland'. About some girl who doesn't want to go among mad people or something like that," Lisa stated, trying to hide her smile.

"I guess we could give it a shot," Hiyori groaned, pulling back the urge to be curious.

_End Flashback time…_

Ed grinned. "I can't believe I'm finally a Vice-Captain! It seemed like just yesterday we were in the academy. You remember that, don't you?" He chuckled and nudged Soi Fong.

"I remember. You were about as stealthy as a rock back then!" She giggled slightly, glancing over at the rather short male to see an angry expression plastered to his face.

"I was not!" He snapped, while she just continued smiling.

"Sure you weren't~"

_Flashback time…_

"Al, Al! We're in the academy! Can you believe it?!" As per usual, the "Full Metal" as he would later be called, was much too excited. But could you blame him? After living a horrid life in Rukongai, and finally getting a chance at being a shinigami, who wouldn't be excited?

"I guess," Al smiled, as he turned to face his brother. "This is where we split up, I guess; you're classrooms that way. See you later!" And with that, the two brothers went their separate ways.

Ed walked in to his class, only to find a loud, scratchy voice yelling at him. "MISTER ELRIC, WHY ARE YOU LATE?"

"Because I got lost on the way here, and I--"

"TAKE YOUR SEAT, THEN. RIGHT NEXT TO MISS SOI FONG."

"Can't I take another seat?" Truth was, he wanted to sit next to anyone but a girl. Particuarly that girl, who had been glaring at him the whole time.

"I'M SORRY, MISTER ELRIC. TAKE YOUR SEAT." The woman screeched.

"But--"

"NOW, PLEASE."

The young boy sighed, as he walked over to the assigned seat, not caring for the eyes following him.

"OUR FIRST LESSON OF THE DAY IS..."

_End Flashback time…_

"Oh! That reminds me!" Ed might have had a light bulb hanging over his head, if that was possible. "We need to say hi to Byakuya!"

"I haven't seen him in a while, either, though he's probably just training. ....Jeez, we're going to have too many teenaged Captains at the rate he's going!" She sighed.

"Since when did two become too many?" Ed questioned.

"Who said I said two?"

"Then who else is becoming a Captain that's our age?"

"Well, if you would get off your lazy ass and learn Bankai, instead of playing fairy tail land in Amest whatever you call it, then maybe we might have a third," She smirked, as he frowned.

"It was a mission!"

That was about when they turned a corner, not realizing they had strayed from the others, to the Kuchiki's manor.

"I don't remember it being this big..." Ed trailed off, staring upwards.

"Meh. They might have expanded it a bit since you were gone." Soi Fong shrugged.

"Oi, Byakuya! You there?" The vice captain called, not really sure where his call was aimed at.

"Huh? Who's there?" A voice, not visible to the two, asked, or more snapped, in a sense.

"You've already forgotten what I sound like? Maybe I should've stayed on that mission in Amestris," The blonde boy grinned, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"....Ed?" The voice was surprised, as if not expecting this.

"No, it's the mail man-- Of course it's Ed, you twit! And I'm assuming that your going to be Byakuya the table fairy, am I right?"

"T-Table fairy? Where'd you get that from, Shorty?" A young boy, standing at about their height, opened the door to the manor, grinning from ear to ear.

"I AM NOT SHORT!" Ed roared, racing toward his long haired friend in what looked like he was going to tear him bit from bit. But instead, they embraced in what they might have called a manly hug.

Over with Al who had gone off to see his new division...

"I'm tiiiired~" A young Nanao yawned, rubbing her eyes. It had been late when they all arrived in Seireitei, and the eighth division was a long ways away from the gate they had entered through.

"We'll be there soon," Al smiled, looking over at his captain. "Kyoraku-Taichou, since I'm your vice captain....what do I do? Fill out paperwork?"

Shunsui nodded, a lazy, drunken expression plastered to his face. "Other than that, you'll be greeting some new recruits. In fact, we got one just yesterday."

"Eh? Who?" The young boy gave the old man a curious expression.

"He went by the name of....ah, I can't remember."

Al sweat dropped. That figured. "Is he at the eighth now, then?"

"I think so," The captain mused.

"Well, then, it's just around the corner, so--"

Al fell silent as they turned the corner. Was that who he thought it was....? His mouth fell open a bit. It was…

-

Omake:

"WHY DID WE HAVE TO LET SUCH A PRETTY GIRL GO?" Roy Mustang cried over a picture of the fullmetal alchemist and his younger brother.

"Umm, sir, Fullmetal was a boy," Hawkeye stated.

"Oh really? THEN WHY DID WE HAVE TO LET HIS PRETTY SISTER GO TOO?" He cried.

"Um, sir, Alphonse was a boy too,"

"Really? Then what am I crying about?" Roy Mustang questioned, throwing the picture out the window.

"Umm, sir, I think you're drunk," Hawkeye suggested, eyeing the empty bottles of alcohol.

**Well, I hope that cleared up some things. Even more will be explained in the next chapter. That might help a little. Any guesses on who the mysterious recruit is?**

**Love, Waffle**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4, Whee! Those two people who guessed the recruit were right. So please enjoy the chapter!  
**

"Well?" Are you just going to stand there, or what?" Byakuya was beaming, after releasing his long-time friend from the hug.

"What else are we supposed to do? Sit?" Soi Fong replied, in a slightly sarcastic tone on voice.

Ed smirked. "We could play tag."

The two turned to look at him with wide eyes, before Soi Fong burst out laughing.

"Hah! Just like the old days, remember?" She smiled, as another flashback soon ensued.

_Flashback time…_

A slightly younger looking Edward and Soi Fong stood, watching on as their friend struggled to catch the so called 'Cat Demon'.

"Y-Yoruichi-sama! What are you doing?" The young black haired girl asked, as her eyes continued to move from place to place, trying to keep up.

"I'm just having some fun with little Byakuya~" Yoruichi grinned, waving his hair tie in the air as they continued to shunpo around the Kuchiki family's garden.

"Give it back, Cat Demon!" Byakuya exclaimed, nearly seething at the mouth.

"Don't call Yoruichi-sama that!"

"Only if you can catch me!" The woman winked.

Never mind. He WAS seething at the mouth.

"Get back here!"

"Byakuya! Let me help!"

"Yoruichi-sama, wait up!"

_End Flashback…_

Byakuya snorted. "You could hardly call it tag! It was more like…." He couldn't really get a phrase for it.

"More like?" Soi Fong waited.

"What is it? Cat got your tongue?" Ed laughed, while Byakuya frowned.

"Not funny!"

"Oh, come on, Byakuya; loosen up a bit, will you?" The blonde chuckled, and in one swift movement, grabbed the boy's hair tie. "Catch me if you can, sucker! Let's see if that seriousness got you anywhere!"

"Why you little!"

"I'M NOT SHORT!"

Back over with Al….

The newly promoted vice-captain stared on with huge eyes.

"H-H-H…." He couldn't find the words.

"You're right; his name does start with an h!" Shunsui smiled, pointing over at their new recruit. "Alphonse, this is Hughes, our new third seat,"

"Alphonse, eh?" Hughes stroked his beard, deep in thought. "That name reminds me of someone….you probably wouldn't know him, being a shinigami and all. He was a boy, about your age; I mean your apparent age, only his body was stuck in a suit of armor. But seriously, the odds of that happening are one in a million! Hah!" He laughed.

"Umm, third seat Hughes-"

"Seriously! Wouldn't that just be hilarious, vice-captain? I mean, there's no way the boy could have become an accomplished shinigami in such a short time, just like yourself! What a joke!" The man rambled on.

"Hughes--"

"That would be like seeing my darling daughter as a captain! I don't believe I've shown her to you yet, have I? I'm hoping to get a station in the alchemy world so I can watch over her, though I'm sure she'll be so perfect, that it won't be necessary! She is my perfect daughter, and with Gracia watching over her, I'm sure she'll be fine! But then again, what kind of a father would I be if I let her grow up without her dad?!"

"HUGHES!"

"Yes, vice-captain?"

"I've already heard this story," The boy spoke, quieter this time.

"….Wait…..what?"

"I said I've already heard this story before, Hughes. About your daughter and your wife. You used to tell it at the military a lot."

The man fell silent, before chuckling. "So it really is Full Metal's brother?"

He nodded, as the laughter of his former senior faded away.

"And how'd you die? To be promoted so fast, it must have been some kind of a freak accident!"

"I was already dead. Watching over the military was just a mission, you see. The alchemy world is a new discovery for us, as you may have been informed, and-"

"So, it wasn't a lie?"

"Huh?"

"My previous life; it wasn't a lie?"

"Nope~" Shunsui, who had been listening the whole time, chimed in.

"That's good to hear, then." The third seat stated. "MY DARLING ELICIA EXISTS! I MISS HER!" The third seat broke out into tears.

"Err… Sake?" Shunsui offered, clearly having no idea on how to cheer up the man. Hughes grabbed the offered drink and chugged.

"Ah, that felt good," he said, smiling a little, of course this was a drunk smile.

Somewhere, with a shrimp, a bee, and a rather annoyed little boy…

And so the chase began! It was a glorious chase, as the three of them wound their way throughout Soul Society, Soi Fong chasing Byakuya, Byakuya chasing Edward, and Edward shouting out random things to get Byakuya more and more aggravated.

Eventually, the young, black haired noble made a dive for the vice captain. Soi Fong, noticing this, grabbed on to his legs, causing a sort of domino effect as the three came toppling down on to the ground while spectators simply stared, then walked away without a care in the world.

Byakuya leaned over, grabbing the piece of string for Ed's hand. "Ah-hah, I've got it!" He grinned, wriggling his way out of the Byakushi sandwich and sanding up triumphantly. "Eat my shorts, you stupid vice captain-"

"….Erm, Ed. He didn't mean actually eat his pants."

"He didn't?" Came a muffled reply, as the previous Full Metal took his mouth off Byakuya's hakama.

Omake:

"Come on Havoc, its just jump rope!"

"I'm in a wheelchair! This thing is heavy if you haven't noticed sir!"

"This is an order 2nd lieutenant!"

"I'm not in the military anymore colonel,"

"Then why do you keep calling me sir or colonel?"

"Alright then Mr. Mustang,"

"Call me your majesty!"

"Sir, you are not a pretty princess,"

-Sniffle- "I'm not?"

"Are you drunk?"

**Hope you loved it. Please Review**!

**Love, Waffle**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it took a while to get this one up. Enjoy!**

"Ah~! My darling Elysia! Elysiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!" Hughes...well, to put it bluntly, majestically ran toward the gate, before suddenly feeling a hand tug back on his uniform, choking him slightly. It was a month since the Elric brothers had returned to Soul Society.

"Umm, Hughes, we can't exactly just run through the gate, you see...." Alphonse explained, "We have to get a Hell Butterfly first, and Kyoraku-Taichou-"

"AND Nanao-chan!" Hughes added quickly, having taken the girl to be somewhat of a replacement for his daughter. Someone to brag about, to tell how cute she was; besides, wouldn't she just make the cutest playmate for his darling Elysia?!

"And Nanao-chan," Al nodded, "Are still at the sixth division, since this visit was planned at the last minute..."

Hughes pushed up his glasses, crossing his arms. "What ARE we doing back in that world, anyways?" He asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Lately, there have been some hollows acting up, but rather than going after people with large spiritual pressure, they seem to be going after people with high alchemic abilities," The young blonde boy noted, glancing behind him. "Ah, Kyoraku-Taichou!"

"Nanao-chan~!" Hughes waved enthusiastically, while the young girl just smiled, and gave a small wave back.

"Al-fuku-taichou, here's the butterfly~" She handed him the delicate creature, yet to be released from its cage.

As the other three approached the gate, Al keeping a grip on their third seat as if he were a dog, the man looked back.

"Eh? Why isn't Nanao-chan coming?" He questioned, pouting.

"She's too young for these sorts of missions," Shunsui replied.

"Captain, you're saying that because you don't like people to know she does a good amount of the paperwork..." Al sweat dropped, as they entered through the gate.

"Eh? I don't know what you're talking about," The old coot smiled, quickening his pace.

Their voices slowly turned to murmurs, as the three set off for Amestris.

However, little did they know they weren't alone....

"aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!" Ed shouted, as he ran as fast as his dead legs could carry him to the gate, his voice slowly getting louder as he approached. "WAIT, YOU FORGOT THIS!" He waved around a small cat plush. It was too late, and Al couldn't hear him. He was already too far in.

"Gah, darn it! Al's gonna freak out when he realizes he left it here!" The vice captain mused, pacing back and forth.

"Umm, excuse me...." A small voice came from below him.

"Eh?" He looked down, only to see Al's favorite little sister of a shinigami.

"I-If you wanted, I accidentally took an extra hell butterfly. You could go through the gate with it...."

Ed's eyes widened, as he looked over at the gate.

"Well, Jimmy, I dunno. I still think I like pirates better..."

"BUT THINK OF THE NINJAS, BOBBY! THINK OF THE NINJAS!" The other gate keeper flailed his arms around wildly, clearly not paying much attention to the people around him.

"Thank you perfect timing!" With that, Ed snatched the hell butterfly, and ran off it o the youthful sunse-- I mean gate. Too bad he got yanked back as soon as he was inches away from entering.

"Did you forget about us?!" Soi Fong huffed. "I mean seriously, you--"

"No time for that, we have to hurry!" The gate was almost closed, anyways. With that, he grabbed her wrist and dashed off inside. The gate closed after them.

Five minutes later.....

Byakuya huffed, as he stared at the gate with clearly annoyed eyes.

"OPEN THAT GATE!" He boomed.

"I'm sorry Byakuya-sama, we can't...."

"DARN IT!"

After an hour of stumbling through the dark cave....

"Ugh...I think I can see the light...." Hughes murmured, by this point crawling.

"Hughes, I told you to rest up before we came here..." Al sweatdropped, patting the man on his back.

"No, I seriously see the light!" He stood on is feet suddenly, pointing in front of them. "Look at that, up ahead!"

There was indeed a light, shining brightly before them.

"We're here~!" And with that, they frolicked ahead.

"Are we there yet?"

"You just asked that question five minutes ago!" Soi Fong hissed, hitting the blonde on the back of his head.

"Meh..." Came his groggy reply.

Another five dandy minutes later~!

"WE'RE FREE!" The former alchemist shouted, running out of the gate at top speed. "Al, here I come!"

....Was very accurate, for as soon as he leaped out of the gate, he managed to land on his little brother, who basically triggered a while domino effect, causing Hughes to spill a certain flame alchemist's coffee cup.

Shunsui raised an eyebrow, taking a lick. "Ugh, what is this stuff? Tastes nothing like sake!" He grimaced.

Roy stared, bewildered, at the spirits before him. "G-GHOSTS, COME TO HAUNT ME!" He cowered under the table, causing every one to look at him with wide eyes.

"Colonel, what the heck are you talking about...?"

"Don't you see them?! I-It's Ed, and his girlfriend, and Hughes! And Al, and, and, an old drunk guy!"

"I am not old, and I am most certainly not drunk! At least, not yet..." Shunsui exclaimed.

"AH! D-Didn't you just hear him? He spoke!"

"Who did, sir?"

"The old drunk guy!"

"I'm not old! I'm only a thousand! Sheesh."

"Brother, get off!" Al whined, and Ed followed.

"Sheesh, you gotta be more careful!"

"What do you mean, more careful?! Your the one who just fell out of nowhere and ruined it!"

"But you forgot Mr. Fluffers!" Ed shouted, probably a bit too loudly.

Hughes and Soi Fong snickered, while Shunsui mused over how 'cute' some of his squad was.

"S-SHH!" The dead boy stammered, his face turning a light shade of pink. "Nobody's supposed to know about him!"

"Why are you guys here? Have you come to killl meeeeeeee?" a very panicked colonel questioned.

"Sir, your just imagining it...." his lieutenant stated.

"B-BUT!" the colonel protested.

"Will you shut it! ...What's your name again? Mus.....Muster....Muser....Musting....AH-HAH! It's Mustard!" Ed beamed, giving Roy a triumphant look.

"It's Mustang, brother--"

"No, it's Mustard! Don't you remember, Al?"

"Oh, riiiight! Now I remember!"

"B-But, it really was Mustang...." the Colonel stuttered, still very confused.

"Sir, please stop talking to inanimate objects."

"IT'S REALLY THEM!"

"Sorry, Roy, it really is us. Nobody but you can see us, though...." Hughes said.

"W-Why is that?!"

"Because you have high alchemic ability~" Kyoraku laughed.

"I wasn't asking you, you old drunk!"

"I'M NOT OLD, AND I'M NOT DRUNK!"

"Is this normal?" a new member of the military asked.

"I dunno..." another new recruit replied.

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" Soi Fong screeched.

It fell quiet.

"We're here on a MISSION! Not some kind of court trial! Now all of you, march your butts outside, and let's kick some hollow ass!" She exclaimed. Everyone did as they were told, not daring to question her.

Ed was the first in line. He opened the door, and his face went pale. His eyes got wide. That little hair on the top of his head stood straight up. It was......oh shit.

Omake:

"Nii-san, are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Oh come on Al, it's fun!" the elder Elric tripped an innocent Fuery as he walked through the halls.

"Gah! I could've sworn I felt somebody trip me!" the soldier exclaimed. "Meh, It must've been my imagination," he continued walking.

"Come on Al! Lets go mess with Breda now!"

**Classic Ed and Al, taking advantage of the fact that nobody can see them~ And poor Mustang, everyone thinks he's gone insane. And poor Byakushi, nobody listens to Byakushi. Well, Please review. I'll try to update again soon.**

H


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